Uncle Stevie “Big Bucks” Cohen Owns the New York Mets

The New York Mets are officially owned by Steve Cohen. AKA Uncle Stevie Big Bucks. This isn’t a dream Mets fans. The richest owner in Major League Baseball owns and actively loves the Mets.

Guess what? Everything about this franchise is going to change now. Let’s start with this whole ownership process. In the olden Wilpon Era, the first time the contract fell through and the Wilpons demanded to still run the team even though Cohen bought it, in the Dark Ages that would have been the end of it. And even this bid, when Fred and Jeff Wilpon showed the world have savvy they were by holding on to the team and a giant pandemic happened cratering the asset they hold dear, they accepted less money than last time from Cohen. AND in the Wilpon Dark Ages, the “New York’s City’s Mayor has to sign off on the sale” provision would have come back and bit the team. BUT NOT WITH STEVIE BIG BUCKS AT THE HELM.

Not even that giant who lives in Gracie Manor and can’t bother to wake up before 10am to run the greatest city on the planet could stop Steve Cohen. In the words of Thanos, He is INEVITABLE.

Let’s talk about the end of the Wilpons. They famously got wrapped up in the Madoff Ponzi scheme. They’re BROKE. For decades this team had to scrounge through the bargain bin for free agents. Jose Bautista. Adrian Gonzalez. John Mayberry Jr. BUMS. Past their primes. The team batted out of order. The were the laughing stock of the league. Of course they lost Yoenis Cespedes. Of course Stroman rehabbed with the team and left as soon as he was healthy. The Mets, in America’s most important and influential city were losing money under these two geniuses, and not just during quarantine. Oh no. They had been losing money for years. GUESS WHAT THAT ERA IS OVER.

Steve Cohen is richer than the other top five owners combined. The Steinbrenner’s are POORS compared to this guy. Imagine choosing to go to the Bronx now for LESS MONEY than the Mets offer. The Yankees can’t afford to go contract for contract with the New York Mets. Let that wash over you. Let the happiness take you far away from your quarantined apartment and into late October.

This is it. We’re the East Coast Dodgers. We’re the Big Brother now. No more Clippers. No more White Sox. NO. This team is going to be securing free agents. A world class analytics department. A world class experience. This is the best day in Mets history since cocaine went out of style.

When the list of free agents comes out, no longer will Mets fans have to scroll to the 20’s before things get realistic. Sandy Alderson is back and he has a BANK to bring in talent. See everyone in the World Series for the next 15 years.

God bless you Steve Cohen. God bless you Major League Baseball. God bless America.