Monday Night Madness! Let’s Get Rich!

Monday Night Madness is here again, we need some money in our pockets. Let me be the first to tell you that there is no sweeter feeling in this life than getting a text from your degenerate bookie and him asking you where you want your winnings deposited. Well, lucky for you, I love my readers and listeners and I have been cashing in for the last few weeks, bags of shells delivered to Casa de Scors like you wouldn’t believe. I have hit (checks notes, clears throat, and bellows out to the masses) NINETEEN of my last TWENTY FIVE games in the NBA bubble.

Look, I am a man who does not need to toot my own horn, I get this horn tooted so much by others that it would be gluttonous of me to toot it myself. With saying all this, the life of a handicapper is one of ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys, ups and downs, joy and heartbreak, you get the drift. The wheels could fall off of this money machine at any moment and I recognize that. So, one of these days when I lay a bunch of picks out here and it’s filled with clunkers, well I don’t want to hear chirps from the peanut gallery, I am putting myself out here and frankly if you followed my last 25 picks you would probably be laying in a bubble bath at the Palms Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas with a super model snorkeling in the tub while you drench yourself in Riptide Rush Gatorade. Wait, that might have been my fantasy, either way, it’s a create your own adventure, so fill in your sick depraved thoughts of what you would do with the money that Scors so generously help you get.

Let’s start off in the NBA, we got a nice slate of games to choose from on Monday so let’s get into it:

I think it is time that you all realize that the Bucks are loaded and it is time to bring the Magic behind the barn and shoot them dead. With saying that, I was all over the Magic in game one and we covered that spread en route to a Magic outright victory. The spread here is massive, 14.5 points is so much to give a team in the playoffs and for that reason I think you have to go with the Bucks here, yup, spin zone. That line is begging you to take the Magic and they have kept it close in terms of the spread in the last two games, just barley missing the cover, can lightning strike again, I don’t see it, this is a blowout early and the Magic get put to sleep. Final score, Bucks 134 – Magic 108. Easy Peasy. BUCKS

The easiest best of the evening comes in game two of the slate. The Houston Rockets will square off against the Oklahoma City Thunder. I wish I could explain eloquently in words how easy the Rockets are in this game. This series is ending in five and after an embarrassing OT loss in game three, the Rockets and specifically James Harden will be out for blood. Goodnight Sweet Prince, the Thunder will get their doors blown off in this game, the line is currently 3.5 and I would be comfortable in giving as much as 7 points here, I would considering teasing this to 5.5 and sitting back and collecting your money on the elevated payout line. ROCKETS.

I am instituting a new rule, when a team is down 3-0 in the bubble, they have no interest in playing anymore, they want to get home, they have not been around family, girlfriends, their favorite luxuries etc. this is the end of the road for the Indiana Pacers, good try, good effort. The Heat come out and dominate from start to finish. HEAT

The last game of the night features the Los Angeles Lakers and the Portland Trail Blazers. I have been on the Blazers band wagon for months and they are trailing in this series, 2-1, I can’t hope off now, Melo is my guy. If you watched, we got absolutely screwed in game three in terms of covering the spread, we got beat by a half a point, that is a tough pill to swallow. I said it before, I think this series goes six games, the Blazers need a win to even the series, give me the 7.5 and pray that Damian Lillard dominates. BLAZERS

There you have it for the NBA games on Monday night, you know I am really feeling myself when I start sprinkling some pennies on NHL games too. Here we are, two NHL games winking me right in the eye and I love them both, I love them so much that I might even talk some NHL on the Corner Booth this week. Quickly, take the Islanders on the money line, everyone is kissing the Flyers ass, put some respect on the Isles names, Barry T is a legend, they are playing hard, good odds on the ML, time to roll the dice. Finally, the Colorado Avalanche minus a goal and a half, they are trailing in the series, Dallas is simply not as good as Colorado and this is a 5-1 victory for Colorado, it’s so obvious that it scares me in how confident that I am.

Good luck my friends, FREE MONEY and Hear, Hear to the ProcrastiNation!