Yes that’s right, I’ve returned. Like the snow leopard on the mountainside I’ve reappeared once more, a wild animal, roaming the rocky cliffs, foraging on small animals and dead carcasses and rolling out content for the world to marvel. The readers gather at the base of the mountain hoping, albeit yearning, for a sighting, clamoring for the blogger himself. But for how long will this seemingly mystical creature wander in the open, no one knows. A passing sight, a moment captured in time if you will.
Like the journeyman’s journey home, I too have returned. A home yes, but yet different than the one I departed. Once a small, shanty village filled with farmers toiling the field with daily bachelor updates and cursory observations on Saudi investments. Honest work, a simple kind of life. Yet the air is different. New faces, podcasts, and bandwagon dodgers posts trashing the world’s most beloved and most successful franchise the new york yankees.
While the internet world cheers my return, there is much work to be done and business to be discussed. The first being Apple’s 2 trillion market capitalization. Yes, you read that correctly, 2 trillion** or in other words, $2,000,000,000,000. Now I don’t put much faith in market caps, they’re usually overstated and lacking a complete analysis of a company’s given financials (cc: WeWork). But even still that figure is enormous and I couldn’t help thinking about the Earth’s dumbest man, Ronald Wayne.
In 1976, Apple was cofounded by three individuals, most notably, Steve Jobs, Steve Wozniak, and little known Ronald Wayne. Wayne worked alongside Jobs at Atari as a draftsman for slot machines and video games, and was recruited by Jobs to start a business together. They drew up a contract, Jobs and Wozniak would each receive 45% while Wayne would earn a meager 10%, a farthing, a peasant’s wage. Since the company was formed as a partnership and not as a corporation, the trio would be held personally liable to creditors leaving Wayne to get cold feet and drop out completely. When Wayne left he was reimbursed his investment and received $1500.
And what a dumbass he was. In the words of Meek Mill, scared money don’t make no money and boy was Milly spot on. In 2013, his stake would have been worth 40 billion, and if he stayed through today, his stake would be valued at 200 billion dollars (based on market cap alone).
So the real question is, should Steve Jobs have asked Meek Mill to be his partner instead of Ronald Wayne? Let’s discuss:
-dated nicki minaj
-went to prison
-absolutely embarrassed by drake in a global rap feud
-collaborated with rick ross to bring us the timeless treasure “ima boss”
-assumed technical aptitude
-failed business experience
-not a rapper
-walked away from a multi billion dollar investment
The choice seems pretty obvious to me. Unfortunately, Milly wasn’t born until 1987 and by that point the window of opportunity had been lost for Jobs. The rule of thumb is whenever you have a choice between a bum like Ronald Wayne or Meek Mill you always, always, always go Meek Mill.
Now I know what you’re thinking, Ronald Wayne, he must be doing big things now. Entrepreneur, hedge fund owner, or even a founder of a global non-profit. Yeah, not exactly. Wayne retired to a trailer park somewhere in Nevada, where he sells stamps and rare coins, and plays penny slots at a casino (the irony!). In the 90s Wayne even sold the original partnership agreement for $500 which later resold for $1.6 million. Wow is this guy stupid. Somebody please help this guy or better yet just put him out of his misery. And I know, hindsight is 20/20, in the mid 1970s computers were uncharted territory and he could lose everything but cmon! He stayed on for 2 weeks before he bounced and lost hundreds of billions of dollars. He could have even stayed for a year, maybe 6 months and made a couple grand to use on those slot machines.
So if you think your day is bad at least you didn’t lose out on 200 billion. So pour one out for Ron Wayne and go hit the slots.