I have taken it upon myself to be the official spokesman for Jay Cutler, I have always been a huge fan of Cutler blasé attitude. The greatest story ever told is that a Vanderbilt graduate (Cutler’s alma mater) saw Cutler taking a leak at a urinal and he approached Cutlet to tell him how big of a fan he was of the legendary Quarterback. Rumor has it that Cutler who was severely inebriated at the time, laid his head back and let out a prolonged “Don’t Careeeeeeee”, he then zipped up and left the bathroom. This is the stuff of legends, smoking Jay has made it a career out of being the guy that all degenerate sports fan choose to love. We all celebrated the fact when he scooped up all-time 00’s smokeshow Kristen Cavallari as his wife but then we recently learned that love is dead when the greatest celebrity couple of our generation called it quits recently.
Kristen was out over the weekend and snapped a picture with her ex and former co-star Stephen Colletti. Hey kristen, good luck getting Jay jealous, you have to go crawling back to your D-list celebrity ex pretty boy boyfriend Stephen. Don’t make us laugh, you think that’s going to phase Jay Cutler, elite gun-slinging, stud quarterback, no chance at all sweetheart.
Do you think this guy, pictured below, will have trouble finding someone as gorgeous, wealthy and successful as you Kristen?
Don’t make us laugh, again, look at this UNIT:
Kristen do you think that guy above cares that he was so not into your career, repeatedly showcasing how much he didn’t care about your work and making fun of it on national television? Do you think you are going to be able to walk around looking like you do and find somebody as stunning as Smoking Jay?
HA HA HA good luck Kristen!! Jay is going to be just fine! As official spokesman for Mr. Cutler, I just wanted to remind everyone that we are in no way regretting the fact that we let this goddess walk out of our lives and boom roast us on Instagram with a picture of her ex boyfriend and have literally every person from ages 20-32 rejoice that Kristen and Stephen might be re-igniting their relationship. Jay will be just fine, nothing is wrong and we are looking forward to the end of the pandemic when we can head to Nashville, pop up on campus and show the World that Smoking Jay, the original B.M.O.C. (BIG MAN ON CAMPUS) Is single and ready to mingle!