Teenagers & Parents Collectively Cry As Prom Is Cancelled

Prom has been cancelled, how our nation will ever be able to handle such a tragedy, this blogger cannot answer. Social media has been invaded with posts from parents and teenagers alike, writing about how their memories have been stolen away from them like a thief in the night. I for one, thought it was appropriate to take time out of my day and extend a loud and thoughtful, shut the hell up to all of you.

We have talked about celebrities who have the inability to read a room, well parents of high school kids need to get the same memo. I almost feel obliged to give the students a pass here, they are kids and shouldn’t be held responsible not having the wherewithal to realize that writing a five paragraph sob story about not having prom is a pretentious and being deaf to the current times, but parents have no excuse.

While families grieve the loss of Nana and Pop Pop and Mr. Jones lost his job because of a global pandemic, parents of high schoolers felt it was important for us to grieve the loss of Becky losing her junior prom. Poor Becky, not being able to eat dressed up chicken tenders masquerading as chicken parmesan, not having the ability to record tik toks with her friends in the bathroom of an out-dated 1950’s Upstate New York Elks Lodge that was once connected to the New York City “cement business”, what a tragedy, too bad Shakespeare isn’t around to get some inspiration for his next work of art.

I went to two proms back in my day and let me tell you, they both sucked. I have barely any memory of where it was or what we did, gun to my head, I could not tell you where my junior prom was held, how I got there or where I went afterwards and no I was not drunk, well I probably was, flashbacks to start of alcoholism! (Now over two years into sobriety thank you very much) In all seriousness, it’s not because I was inebriated, it’s because as you get older, nobody gives a shit about high school or your prom and although it feels like a big deal now, in three years you probably won’t even remember who you were supposed to go with, take my advice Becky!

It’s 2020, time to get innovative, create a Zoom link, send it out to the rest of your cohorts and have a virtual prom, dress up in your dressed and tuxes and party it up from the comfort of your own home, I will even offer up my DJ services. Hope you kiddos like Yeah!, the Electric Slide and You and Me by Lifehouse because those party favorites are going to be on repeat!

So, parents far and wide, if you need something to complain about that actually has any bearing whatsoever, let me know, I am sure I can help you place your need for attention and comments from Sally down the street with a phenomenal Facebook post that actually addresses an issue that is worth crying over. Cheer up, do the right thing and focus on what matters. Until then, hear, hear to the ProcrastiNation!