Hello everyone, the quarantine has become a way of life. I have left my house five times in the last twenty-six days, three trips to the grocery store, one trip to get chewing tobacco and one trip to the mechanic. Aside from those adventures outside of the house, I have sat on my ass, watched Netflix, listened to Howard Stern and have eaten an absorbent amount of food. The weight gain is in full blown crisis mode at this point, I am clocking in at seven pounds heavier than when this lockdown began, at this rate, I will be getting carried out of those house by a crane in August.
In an attempt to combat the rapid weight gain, I purchased a heavy bag and a heavy bag stand so I could work some cardio into my day. My wife and I tackled this task today, on Good Friday, the day that my lord and savior Jesus Christ died and during this heavy bag stand installation, I called out big J’s name at least 17 times, what a way to celebrate. If you are not married, you have no clue the frustration that occurs while working on a project with your spouse. When you were dating everything was happy go lucky and you would smile, giggle, tell each other how cute the other is and that this hot glue and screw driving afternoon was better than a day at the beach. Fast forward, it’s five years later, it is day 26 of quarantine and your wife threatens to beat you over the head with a socket wrench unless you hold the heavy bag stand steady. Eventually we took some deep breaths and we completed the task, the heavy bag stand is up and standing and I am hammering away at the bag like a young Clubber Lang.
After we congratulated each other on not stabbing the other with any tools or garage accessories, we went inside to start dinner. I cooked up some delicious cheeseburgers with french fries and edamame, simply delicious. I then got a call from my Mom, she was calling to wish me a HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY, sort of a wild holiday to celebrate with a phone call. She asked me what I was eating and I told her, stunned silence, she then said “You are eating meat on GOOD FRIDAY” …. I did not intentionally do this but we were at the point of no return here, I ate the burgers, I am also confident that God will not spite me because of this lapse in dietary judgement.
I posted the video in the beginning of this blog but I always take this weekend to revisit one of my favorite musicals of all-time, Jesus Christ Superstar. Some real fire jams and it brings me back to growing up and trying to determine why my catholic elementary school sent me to the principal’s office when I told her that I loved Jesus Christ Superstar. I was informed that this was not the proper teaching of the story of JC and I should stop watching it or I would be heading down a bad path. If the nuns knew the other stuff that I was watching in the fifth grade then they probably would have dressed me up in costume and let me sing What’s The Buzz at the top of my lungs in order to stop the depravity from a 12 year old Scors.
All jokes aside, I grew up catholic, went to catholic school for fifteen years, made the confirmation, baptized, married in the catholic church, I checked all the boxes. I use prayer a lot, i pray to Jesus Christ (my personal lord and savior) and to me, it is extremely therapeutic, especially during these difficult times. I think it is important to dive into whatever form of religion, savior or meditation that you prescribe to and give thanks for the benefits that we have, especially while a vast part of the world is suffering with health crisis, loss of jobs and the inability to get necessary food and supplies.
What else has been going on in quarantine you ask? The Los Angeles Dodgers have won the 2021 and 2022 World Championship. I have become the GM of the Dodgers and have made the proper adjustments to the ball club to restore greatness in the video game world. I have been trying to fill the lack of sports with playing MLB the show and Madden but it is growing increasingly more difficult. I would do unforgivable to watch a Memphis Grizzlies vs Orlando Magic basketball game tonight, I miss professional sports an awful lot, I realize just how important it is to my functionality as a human being.
Streaming television is at an all-time high. I recommend Ozark season 3, Tiger King, Hunters and the new season of Curb Your Enthusiasm if you are looking for newer shows. If you want to play the hits then go watch the Sopranos or the Office, I have gone all in with Cheers, this Sam and Diane are crazy, they keep breaking up, getting back together, I can hardly handle the tumultuous relationship that these two lovebirds have.
Stay safe everybody, being healthy is the most important thing right now, hopefully our blogs and podcasts are bringing you some enjoyment during this time! Hear, hear to the ProcrastiNation!