Wrestlemania, the Showcase of the Immortals, is taking place tonight in the WWE Performance Center. I haven’t watched wrestling in years, but I feel like I know most of these wrestlers still. It’s the only live sports that we have right now so we’re going to live blog wrestling’s biggest night. Keep checking back as we break down the first ever Wrestlemania to take place over two nights.
The National Anthem/America the Beautiful is a compilation video of all the greats who have sung the anthem at WWE’s biggest event. From Aretha Franklin to John Legend to Willie Nelson many of the pop stars we all know and love have been a part of Wrestlemania.
Oh shit! Gronk is hosting Wrestlemania! He’s wearing a tiger jacket and sunglasses. Indoors. He’s screaming. “I know how to start a party Saturday night that ends 30 hours later.” Yo soy fiesta.
Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross vs. The Kabuki Warriors (c)
So it’s weird to watch a wrestling match with no crowd. You can hear everyone clear as day. The trash talk, the referee’s count for being out of the ring. The person waiting for the tags. The Kabuki Warriors started out strong in the first half of the match but then lost control following an extended out of the ring fight.
After hitting a modified Doomsday Device, Nikki Cross kicks out, avoids a double team, and hits a swinging neck-breaker which reminds me of Paige’s old finishing move. Tags in Alexa Bliss, the only wrestler I had heard of before this, and she hits her Twisted Bliss for the pinfall. We have new champions.
Winner and New Women’s Tag Team Champions Alexa Bliss and Nikki Cross
King Corbin vs. Elias
So, I knew Corbin as Barron Corbin so I guess he must have won the King of the Ring tournament and changed gimmicks like Booker T a decade or so ago. We’re doing a video montage of him attack Elias during last week’s Smackdown. Corbin wanted to be declared the victor but Elias is here. It’s about to go down.
Elias hits Corbin with a guitar and takes early advantage before the match even starts. Corbin gets to his feet in the ring and we get underway. Corbin starts to take advantage of his work a week ago on Smackdown and hits Deep Six. Doesn’t get the fall. Tries to use the ropes for the pin fall and gets caught. Elias hits his finisher and pins Corbin to pick up the win. Apparently Gronk set this match up but they never explained why.
Becky Lynch drove a mac truck to the arena that said “The Man” on it. She left it idling and in what appeared to be an intersection so I would hope this match is quick because parking authorities are no joke.
Shayna Baszler vs. Becky Lynch (c)
This was an incredible match. I didn’t want to peel away from it to write a mid-match write-up. Very even, very technical, a lot of submissions and near falls. The match ended when Lynch rolled through a version of a sleeper hold into a bridge which results in a pin. Very athletic stuff.
Winner AND STILL Raw Women’s Champion: Becky Lynch
They’re doing an Undertaker retirement documentary!
Daniel Bryan vs. Sami Zayn (c)
Sami Zayn started things out with the classic heel move of running around the ring and hiding behind the people he came down to the ring with. Sliding in and out of the ring and biding time until Bryan suckered him in to heading up the ramp where Bryan attacked him from behind.
Zayn attempted to bargain with Bryan before the real fight broke out.
Bryan gets distracted by a fight outside the ring, and ends up diving through the ropes to take everyone out. He climbs the ropes to go after Zayn and gets caught with a huge kick and it’s a wrap.
Winner AND STILL Intercontinental Champion: Sami Zayn
A LADDER MATCH! Kofi Kingston vs. Jimmy Iso vs. John Morrison (c)
This is a singles triple threat match but is for the Smackdown Tag Team titles. Sure. Kofi always has huge spots. Let’s see what he has for us. Haven’t seen John Morrison since he came back to wrestling.
Cool ladder match spots: Kofi springboard drop kick through the ladder. Jimmy Iso tries to slam the ladder down on Morrison and it lands around him like an old timey movie gag where the frame of the house lands around the protagonist and a window protects him.
My internet just died. We’re going to try to pick this one back up again tomorrow since I’ve already missed at least the end of the ladder match and the start of the Seth Rollins match.
This used to be easier when I was a kid and it was PPV only. Simpler and more expensive times.