Save Joe Burrow from the Cincinnati Bengals


Are we really going to force the two coolest quarterbacks in the NFL to play for the Cleveland Browns and Cincinnati Bengals? An eight billion dollar organization is going to lend its whole future to the state of Ohio? What is this, the electoral college?

Here’s what we know about Joe Burrow the quarterback. In two full seasons as the LSU starter, he had a pedestrian first season before exploding for 60 touchdowns, 5,671 yards, and ran for 368 yards. Six THOUSAND yards of offense. He played his way to a national championship and being in the conversation for the first overall pick now with injury to Tua Tagovailoa of Alabama.

Here’s another thing we know about Joe Burrow, he’s cool. In a way that very few of the robotic, company line quarterbacks are cool. The NFL seeks out personality and it kills it, and unlike any of the other big four sports, the NFL is about BRANDS and not about individuals. You are supposed to give up your individuality for the sake of the team. In terms of cool quarterbacks right now, we have Cam Newton who dresses like The Riddler, Baker Mayfield (who has some of his coolness ripped from him by the Browns), and Lamar Jackson (BIG TRUSS, WOO WOO).

Look at this.

And did you see him run out of the tunnel on Senior Night in Death Valley?

This dude gets it, and how is the NFL going to reward him? By sending him to CINCINNATI.

Now, I don’t want to be rude, but to give you an idea of how bad this is Carson Palmer chose to retire and make no money instead of millions of dollars just to get away from the Bengals. Last year, with the same exact team as the year before, they STUNK. They went from 6-10 to 2-14, and they seemed incredibly blessed and highly favored to have won those two games. This team was actually being held together by league wide laughing stock, Marvin Lewis.

There is a ton of natural talent on the Bengals, from AJ Green (who Burrow allegedly requested the Bengals keep), to Tyler Boyd to Joe Mixon, and this team somehow still won just two games. There is an institutional underachieving within the Bengals organization.

Do you want to see someone with this talent and swag in Cincinnati? Or do you want to see Joe in Miami?