Joey Chestnut Smashes The World Record For Eating Big Macs

The man, the myth, the legend, Joey C put down 32 Big Macs in 38 minutes, setting the world record for Big Macs eaten in one sitting. We talk about athletes and accomplishments all the time but this my friends is an astonishing feat of athleticism. I love to eat, no way around it. I am also at the point in my life where I feel like I want to let loose, get fat and wear nothing but hoodies and baggy sweats for the rest of my life. I mean I am married, I have a job, who am I trying to impress here? Well, I digress, see Chestnut break this World record got me thinking about what food eating World records I could break. Let’s dive into the various foods that I know for certain I could break. Now let me clarify, I am not into the Nathan’s Hot Dog eating contest, my competitive appetite doesn’t work like that, I want to sit down and eat until I can’t eat anymore, not do the speed eating that we see at Coney Island every 4th of July. So, for this blogs sake, that’s how I will be assessing my World record aspirations.

Swedish Fish: This brings me back to when I was a kid, I was the bat boy for my grandfather’s baseball team that he owned and coached. Little Scors was running around with a pocket full of Swedish fish, hammering out about 3.5 bags of fish per nine innings. I would imitate my grandfather and his chewing tobacco habits by lining my lower lip with the fish, getting a good spit it and letting the fishes soften up before I would chomp them down. Now, there is a fine line between a good or bad Swedish fish, the color is key, it has to be the vibrant red as opposed to the faded red that you see in a stale bag of fish. In addition, the softness is crucial, nothing worse than a hard and chalky tasting Swedish fish, they need to be soft and if they are, I could lay on the coach and hammer Swedish fish all day long.

Cheeseburger Sliders: Goodnight sweet prince, prop me up at the table and watch the kid work. It would be as magical as watching Pete Rose take soft toss on a crisp spring day. How many cheeseburger sliders could I eat you ask? The limit does not exist. A nice brioche bun with cheese, lettuce, tomato and some ketchup, sautéed onions if you are feeling frisky and there’s no stopping me. The issue that I have with cheeseburger sliders is that there are rarely very good sliders, most are stale buns, and cheap burger, if you can find a slider that has some pride put into it, bingo bango bongo, pure deliciousness.

Chicken Wings: I am specific when it comes to wings, the meat has to fall off the bone, no fat, bleu cheese, crispy, medium, wing sauce. The only reason I ever step away from the table when eating wings is because it is socially acceptable to stop eating and I don’t want people to view me as a glutinous pig. I could eat chicken wings for hours, if you are ever in the Upstate New York area, more specifically, Albany, then go to Scubbers, the greatest wings these lips have ever tasted. The memories of Super Bowl Sunday when I lived in New York, hammering down chicken wings with my friends, the glory days.

Meatballs: Embracing my Italian roots, I love meatballs, one of if not my favorite food. My Nana used to make the best meatballs ever, the closest that I have found since then are a small bakery and deli near my house, the people are from New York and they remind me a lot of my Nana’s meat-a-balls. We used to commonly refer to them as “specials” in my family, because they would come out of the olive oil and we would eat them without the sauce, they were special from all the other meatballs that would be dropped in the gravy. I make a pretty decent meatball myself but there are a lot of bad ones that you have to go through at various restaurants and delis, when you find a good one, hold onto it and smother those bad boys.

Crunch Berries: No stopping me when the Capn’ pulls up offering his famous berries. If I could I would take the family size box and pour milk directly into the box and eat the crunch berries with a wooden sauce spoon. I believe this is the gold standard of cereal, the crunch, the sugar, the branding on the box, it doesn’t get much better than this. I have been eating crunch berries my entire life and I really think they get better with age, I have never been disappointed with a bowl of C and B’s. Well done Scors, well done.

There you have it, the top five foods that I could set the world record in. I think we might have to do a video for the blog and showcase my eating skills on some of these foods. Comment on the blog or on our facebook page and let me know what you want me to attempt and let us know what your “world record cuisine” would be.