To The Haters And Losers Of Which There Are Many…

Last night I started the process of packing for my upcoming vacation. Some of my friends, my wife and family have often said that I have the tendencies of a “65-year-old man” or “You are like Larry David in Curb” and other slighted remarks such as these. Yes, I have a list made out of what I am packing weeks in advance, yes I have certain routines that I don’t like to break, if being prepared and ready to roll is the tendencies of an old-man, well then consider me, Larry King.

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As a lot of you know, I am bringing my wife to Disney, her first trip ever to the House of Mouse. Stevie Ray and his girlfriend are coming along also, a couple’s week in Disney. When an event like this takes place, you need to pull out all the stops, that’s exactly what I did for this trip.

The footwear is obviously important, so what did I do, I went and purchased some “Dad Sandals” and I have been ridiculed non-stop for this move. Well, you know what is going to suck? When all the haters and losers, of which there are many, get off a water ride with soaking wet Nike’s. Not your boy Scors, he will have his sandal game ready and that crisp Florida sun will dry off my feet within seconds while the rest of the peanut gallery strolls around squishing water between their sneakers and socks. Can’t wait to laugh right in their faces while I suck down an ice cream sandwich. I potentially might make the big move and get myself a fresh pair of white crispy New Balance’s in the near future, but I haven’t taken that step just yet, I considered it for this trip to really emphasize the point of comfort and giving up on my “fashion sense” but I fought that urge and haven’t made that dream purchase quite yet.

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Did I buy Disney themed tee shirts? Well, is the Pope an old Catholic man? I have also been laughed at for this move, “oh you’re an adult, you bought Disney tee-shirts?” Yeah, I did, why don’t you dial your judgement back a bit. If I am going to Disney, I am going to embrace it, I am going to wear my Scar shirt, my Pirates of the Caribbean shirt and have fun. I feel bad for the people who think they are “too cool” to wear a Disney themed shirt… in Disney World. I even hope my wife embraces it and feels the need to reenact the Princess Leia scene from Return of the Jedi for me. I just feel like if we are going to go full tilt with the Disney fun, after paying, planning and making this trip happen a little Jaba/Leia action isn’t too much to ask for. I deserve that at least. Don’t tell her about this, she might get pissed, so let’s keep it between us, thanks.

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Well how about food you ask? Nothing too embarrassing there right? Well not for me but if you think eating dinner in the Beast’s castle is embarrassing, then yes. If you think going to a character themed beach brunch is embarrassing, then once again, yes. If you think I am going to Disney and not getting a picture with Chip N’ Dale, putting it on Instagram and captioning it” hey ladies, the best looking ChipN’Dales you’ve ever seen” then you are an insane person. I will 100% be doing that, you will laugh, most likely comment and not like it, a real tool move, but it will be electric, you know it and I know it.

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How am I going to capture this magical trip, so that I can share memories with my wife, our friends and future children? If you guessed, recording it on an iPhone then you guessed wrong! I have purchased a refurbished Canon Camcorder; we are taking this old school and I am ecstatic about it. So, laugh all you want, but when my Disney trip looks like a young Scorsese filmed it, you’ll be upset that you only have pictures and videos that need splicing together on your cell phone. HA Amateurs.

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Well Scors, it’s Valentine’s week, what are you going to wear when you get all gussied up? Well, obviously my most fashionable Hawaiian shirts. As we have discussed before, but my wife despises my Hawaiian’s, I don’t know how she could. It’s a power shirt and frankly, only the most confident of men can pull off a Hawaiian shirt. Now, full disclosure, I am not sure that I necessarily “pull it off” but damn do I feel like a young Don Johnson and I feel comfortable. I sweat constantly, standing still in the middle of winter, I will be sweating. If I could have the air conditioner running throughout the year I would, the Hawaiian shirts are the most breathable, comfortable shirts you will ever wear. Take my word for it, it will be a decision you will never regret.

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Live look at me and Stevie Ray

There you have it. Let’s get ready to do the damn thing. Hear Hear to the ProcrastiNation.

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