Super Bowl Weekend is finally here. The biggest sporting event of the year and arguably, the biggest party day of the year as well. A lot of people will be dragged to parties or host a party and shockingly enough, not everyone will be the biggest football fan ever. Scors is here to help the casual or uninformed football fan with who to root for and by the time you get to the party you will have some talking points and have a firm decision made on who to root for.
Like any self-respecting man, I will only judge these two coaches on the straight sex appeal that they convey. We have two absolute smokeshows in this matchup of coaches. We probably have the sexiest coach from each conference matching up in the big game.
Kyle Shanahan is young, evolving and considered to be an “offensive genius”. That is the football coaching equivalent of tall, dark and handsome. Unfortunately for him he is up against the one, the only, Andy Reid. The “Dad Bod” was a thing, I am not sure if the ladies are still into it but I sure as hell am into it and the ultimate Dad Bod model is the stunning, Andy Reid. The confidence he displays is motivation to me. He is like every other regular guy in America, Kyle Shanahan is too pretty to root for, he doesn’t need any more support.
I struggle with dieting and like every guy who has ever tried it, you wake up one morning after a night of burger and wings eating and completely forgot you were supposed to be on a diet. Andy Reid who said he was on a diet, immediately housed a cheeseburger after the AFC Championship and at Super Bowl Media Day when asked if he was continuing his diet, he smiled and said the diet is on hold. (Side note: Not to brag but I am finally back in the 180’s after hovering in and around the 200 mark for a while, my wife is a lucky lady) On Super Sunday when America shovels grub down our gullets, you need to root for the man who would be doing exactly what we would be doing, dipping wings in an abundance of bleu cheese, squeezing out a chili fart when you know it might lead to sharting your stretchy pants in front of an entire household, having one too many slices of the sub platter, that is Andy Reid. Andy Reid is my spirit animal, as the Instagram influencers would say. He is our man in this game.
Edge: Kansas City Chiefs
Celebrities fuel our societal interests, no doubt about that. This game offers a wide variety of celebrity fans. Both teams are well represented for Super Bowl LIV. Let’s start with the San Francisco 49ers:
Huey Lewis – Do you guys like Huey Lewis and the news? Their early work was a little too new wave for my taste. Get it? Big time California guy, also synonymous with the Back to the Future trilogy which was based in California. Pretty good representation here. Top 3 Huey Lewis songs are Power of Love, Do You Believe in Love and Stuck With You. This is not up for debate.
Marisa Miller – Sweet Mother Cabrini. Marisa on the cover of Sports Illustrated Swimsuit edition are what childhood memories are made out of, she is a huge asset for the 49ers celebrity roundup.
Danny Glover – A part of the greatest buddy cop duo in cinema history, the Lethal Weapon franchise. Sgt. Roger Murtaugh is an absolute legend. Additionally, Danny Glover as Manager George Knox is one of the most electric performances ever.
Kansas City Chiefs:
Eric Stonestreet – The Modern Family star seems like a down to earth regular guy, the glammed-up Andy Reid. He is non-stop posting Chiefs stuff on Instagram, he is certainly not a phony fan, this guy is the real deal.
Melissa Ethridge – COME TO MY WINDOW! An absolute songbird, I love Melissa Ethridge. She has a dynamite duo with Springsteen performing Thunder Road.
Brad Pitt – This is the ace in the hole, arguable, one of the biggest movie stars of all time. One of Scors biggest man crushes. Once Upon A Time in Hollywood is going to get him the Best Supporting Actor Oscar in my opinion. The 49ers thought they had it in the bag with Marisa Miller, not so fast my friend, Brad Pitt from the top rope.
This is a real tough choice for me, so let’s break it down, I give Huey Lewis the slight edge in the music category over Melissa Ethridge. The good looks category is an absolute blood bath but for nostalgia purposes, I must go with Marisa Miller. The final matchup is Danny Glover vs Eric Stonestreet, not even a competition here, Danny Glover is a legend.
Edge: San Francisco 49ers
The Story Of The Teams
Sports is consumed with stories, storylines and when the confetti falls, how great of an NFL Films documentary will this make. Both teams have taken different roads to the Super Bowl. The 49ers have had to rise from the ashes, one of the worst teams in the league just a few seasons ago are now one win away from being the Super Bowl Champions. On the other hand, the Kansas City Chiefs have had playoff disappointment year after year recently and they have finally gotten over the hump and are back in the Super Bowl for the first time in 50 years.
Both coaches have had their disappointments in the big game. As the Offensive Coordinator of the Atlanta Falcons, Kyle Shanahan made many questionable play calls, didn’t run the ball and kick a field goal to seal the victory, instead the Patriots crawled back into the game and completed the greatest comeback in Super Bowl history. Andy Reid has been one of the most successful coaches in NFL history, except for one small thing, he has never won the Super Bowl as a Head Coach. He led the Eagles to the big game and lost to the Pats and since then has appeared in many Conference Championship games and is finally back in the Super Bowl.
The Quarterbacks are uniquely different. Jimmy G is the former Brady backup who has now linked up with the old school run the ball offense and is the definition of a game manager, but he does it exceptionally well. Patrick Mahomes has given Chiefs fans a reason to think this is only the beginning of the run to multiple Super Bowls. Mahomes, in my opinion, is the most electric QB in the league and if I was starting a team today, he would be my number one pick.
Rooting for either one of these teams is respectable, I won’t knock you for going wither way on this one. There is a sense that Andy Reid might not get too many more opportunities because of his age, although the team is great, you can never assume a dynasty type of run. See Dan Marino’s career to be the prime example. Andy Reid deserves to be called a Super Bowl winning Head Coach and if he wins this game, he will be considered one of the greatest coaches of all time and arguably the second-best coach in his generation, behind only Bill Belichick.
Edge: Kansas City Chiefs
Have a great Super Sunday, get your squares, eat your hearts out and now thanks to your boy Scors, you have a team to root for.