Mets and Beltran “Agree to Part Ways”

You’re giving me the ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ routine? I invented ‘it’s not you, it’s me.’ Nobody tells me it’s them not me; if it’s anybody, it’s me.

George Costanza/Carlos Beltran

The New York Mets and Carlos Beltran have mutually agreed to part ways in wake of the Houston Astros banging on trash cans scandal. I don’t know about you, but I personally LOVE it when my team doesn’t have a manager a couple weeks before pitchers and catchers report.

Even though Major League Baseball had said that Beltran would not face any punishment as the “player mastermind” behind the Astros Doug Funnie offense the Mets decided that their brand new manager was not worth the risk.

A curveball is coming boys!

This is such a Mets thing to have happened. First, they waited for weeks after every other team locked down a manager before deciding to hire a centerfielder best known for having his knees buckled by a curveball, and then that manager ends up fired before even flying to Port St. Lucie and introducing himself to the guys.

Mets let Joe Girardi go elsewhere in division because of their EXHAUSTIVE search. Girardi might rub every single person everywhere he’s ever gone the wrong way, but at least he wins games! I have been skeptical of the Beltran hiring from the beginning, but at least we HAD a manager.

Everything you read about Beltran toward the end of his career that he had been being groomed for years to take over a managerial position, so I guess he at least had that going for him? Even though I wanted Girardi, I figured this Mets team is what it is and maybe playing for a borderline Hall of Famer would give the team a little extra juice. Sure, I could let myself get gaslit into this.

But now here we are. A manager who was going to face no reprimand at all has been fired the same time the last two World Series winners are also looking for managers. I’m sure the top flight managers have just been BEGGING to spurn the Astros and Red Sox to come to Queens. Bruce Bochy and Buck Showalter are just DYING to coach up Rick Porcello and see what Edwin Diaz and Jeurys Familia have left in the tank. Why coach Altuve when we have Brandon Nimmo?

I literally CAN NOT WAIT to watch Eduardo Perez shuffle out to the mound to get Porcello after a crisp 2.2 innings after giving up an absolute MOONSHOT to Bryce Harper. Just hook this right into my veins.

There is one thing the Mets can do though. They can dig real deep, and ignored their instincts to hire Luis Rojas and Perez, and go after one man who can turn this whole thing around. Alex Rodriguez. Back up the Brinks on what’s left of all that sweet, sweet Wilpon money and steal Alex right out of the booth. Bring him to Queens.

SOON

In the mean time, I’ll be here. Talking myself into the fact that it doesn’t matter who coaches this team because we have Jacob deGrom and Thor while sketching a Mets jersey over an A-Rod photo.

Always and forever

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