Boeing Mulls and Reverses Stance on Tighter Training

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Yes, you read that correctly, the airline manufacturer responsible for two planes crashing into the Earth and killing hundreds of people has reversed its stance and has decided to have it’s pilots go through additional flight-simulator training on the Boeing 737 MAX. The 737 MAX was the same plane that crashed during a Lion Air flight in October 2018 as well as on an Ethiopian Airlines flight in 2019.  

Think of the last time you went on a plane. You do what everyone does and pick up that disgusting, bacteria-infested safety pamphlet and breeze through the pages of people putting on oxygen masks and inflating a life vest. There’s probably a moment where you think to yourself, “hey what if my fucking plane fucking crashes and I fucking die?” But then you’re comforted by the fact that dying in a plane crash is like a 1 in a 11 million occurrence and you completely forget about it? Yeah, we’ve all been there. 

Well if you’re sitting in a seat on a Boeing 737 MAX -those odds just changed and I mean bigtime. Let’s put on our probability caps here kids and take a good hard look at this. A plane crash, as we just discussed, is 11,000,000:1. What does that mean? Imagine every single person in NYC has a red marble and there’s one person with a blue marble and you have to pick the correct person. Now add 3 million more people to that and those are your odds of dying in a plane crash. What the hell am I getting at here? What Im getting at is you have no shot of picking that person correctly just like there is no shot of you getting into a plane crash. Like I really don’t care what you say you are not picking that person. “Oh well probability says I have a chance!” No, you fucking don’t. You have literally no chance. 11 million to 1 is no chance and thats a scientific mathematic fact and you cant change my mind about it so get over it. NOW, not one, but TWO planes crash, and they just HAPPENED to be the SAME model plane made by the SAME company. Wellllll howwww about that. I’m no mathematician here, but let’s just say that ain’t coincidence and the Boeing 737 MAX is a piece of shit. 

Now after diverting blame, a plummeting stock, stories revealing how Boeing bypassed the FAA for approval, a failed CEO apology tour, the CEO getting fired, and then Boeing decides they’re not going to have their pilots go through extra flight simulation? Uh what? I almost spit out my coffee. I don’t know but Im pretty sure a few extra hours of flight simulation ain’t gonna break the bank for a billion dollar company. 

Sure I’m no fancy pants airline executive in a pinstripe suit with a model 747 on their desk smoking cigars rollin up in a white stretch limo (clearly I have no clue what an airline exec does), but isn’t the job of flying a plane to not crash the fucking plane? Maybe do everything you can to avoid crashing the plane. Like not some of the things. Not like 1 or 2 of the things. Not a couple of those things and leave for happy hour on a Monday or take off for a long weekend. Maybe not even a couple more than that. Maybe the entire list of everything you wrote down to not crash the fucking plane. Like hey we still havent finished the list that says “how not to crash the plane” ok great rule # 1 says here we should make sure our pilots know how to fly our plane. Yeah do that. Good idea. Maybe don’t push around the FAA because you’re a government contractor. Maybe don’t rush into getting this plane -and yes, I know that you spent a lot of money on, back into the air as soon as possible. Just a thought.